But that never happens and still doesn't, and even with a book I have trouble not eavesdropping, so that's what I did. I didn't mean to but I did. Two students were talking about movies, and this is great, we're talking about movies. I mean, they were, not me, but yeah, this is what film school is. Freshman year, until I got sick of talking about them. But wait, I'm still young and I don't know a lot. I really don't know anything, yeah I've seen Magnolia. And my social skills, still needing much carpentry work, will not enable me to force myself into this conversation. I also cannot bull shit into it either, because that is fake and fake stuff like bringing up yourself into a conversation bothers me, and still bothers me to this day but now I force myself to do it because my friends should know about my stuff. However at this point I had not shaken the don't want to be Madison Whitman thing.
So these students are talking, I think they have just met. Weird that I missed the beginning of it, maybe they knew each other at Orientation, which I didn't go to - who cares. What's your favorite movie? That was Keith. Didn't say exactly that, in fact, it might have been Derek who asked first. I don't know if it was asked like this or answered like this, but I do remember Derek answering with two answers, and he clarified "favorite older movie" and "favorite movie", the latter being "favorite new movie" but that's not what he said. And it ended up being Taxi Driver and Garden State.
Now this really happened, it's not a joke and I don't think it should be one. There was a time when I liked Garden State, and who cares if I don't anymore? And who cares if people did? If it meant something to someone, to Derek, who cares, let him have that. I don't even know if he still likes it. Or if he even did, maybe he was playing it safe.
Then, Ryan walked in. I didn't know him yet, but I remember because I made an an assessment of this situation. Backtrack, in the room was Keith and Derek, in the back were two seniors - both named Rich - and then someone with headphones, I forget his name right now, maybe a girl by herself, her name was Robin, she never made it past the first semester, where is she now, new blog!, Robin O'Keefe, but whatever. I knew Keith and Derek were freshmen, and they were talking, and now here comes Ryan, also early with us all.
Ryan, through our ups and downs, is one of my best friends. Of course. Writing partner, similar sense of humor, this and that. And he is the only other one who will completely understand this all, without having to even read it.
He knew Derek from Orientation I guess. So he sat down and started talking to Derek. Small talk, obvious small talk. Ryan always knows just what to ask though, and it's not that he seems sincere, it's that he is. Just how he was raised. So when he asks how your weekend was, you don't mind actually telling him how your weekend was.
Only, Derek wasn't biting, and I didn't watch, but you could tell Keith was waiting. And Derek didn't introduce them, and when I say Derek wasn't biting, I mean, he was. If Ryan was polite, Derek, wow. I don't know why I said Derek wasn't biting, cause he was. And he meant it too. Now I want to know about your weekend. Whelp, okay. But, now I know why I wrote he wasn't biting. Because after the small talk, there was nowhere left to go, and Ryan admitted defeat and turned around. What I've come to learn is this - and I'm not going to spend this whole blog speaking of my lack of social skills and how they developed during college and why, but - when you just meet someone, it will be awkward and there will be small talk and as much as you hate it you have to deal with it. Then it'll work itself out. And with these two, both being so good at it, it's going to work!
And it did. And then, well, you know, Derek stopped talking to us and now we have no idea where he is or how he is. You know what I was thinking? He could have died. Would the school know? Since developing as a writer, reading more, watching more movies, whatever, I'm perfect, but no seriously, writing things like "Is he dead?" or "Is she pregnant?" really bothers me because those things are real, yes, but are more often than not lame plot devices that are built to carry a shitty movie. But maybe?
So a week or two later I not only met Ryan, but Caitlin McGuirk, Joey Lindenberg, Will, and Jon Paul Boulier. We all hit it off, and Ryan especially because he was a freshmen that was also a film major. And we started hanging out and then he invited me to help on his project, which had Derek in it.
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